So, Blogging world here I am, ready to roll!
Thanks for reading, i'm in recovery from ED im 21 and I've been struggling since 14, and I've been in recovery for a year and a bit now. The Fam say theyve seen improvements so YAY go me!lets keep up the good work!
Found all the fantastic bloggers out there online one day and I was inspired to start my own...they say write what you know so here I go...
I know I want to recover more than anything in the world...I also know deep down there must be some part of me that doesn't think this is true, because otherwise I'd be free as a bird. There must be some part of me still holding onto that ED. Truth is I know what that part is, as much as I hate to admit it.
In the book wasted by Marya Hornbacher she said " I could fly, or fall. I didn't know how to fly, and I didn't want to fall. So I backed away from the cliff." . Basically I'm afraid...like many Ed sufferers I've screwed up a bit and I'm scared I'll screw up again. These days I'm in the process of choosing what I'll study in College and I'm nervous that I'll mess it up. To remedy this I'm trying to focus on the great things we all have in life and say some affirmations..." I AM CHOOSING THE PERFECT COURSE FOR ME " and " I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE!"
So really I guess for me its fear holding me back a lot of the time, fear I'll choose wrong, fear I don't know how, fear about not knowing what I want. So, the ED is somewhat of a comfort blanket to hold onto...well its time to let that blanket go...
