Balance

wow, its been a while since ive been on this and started this blog.

Well, lets play catch up, since the last time I was on, I did finally make my decision about college, and realise a whole lot of things about it; that it really isn't the biggest deal in the whole world, and that whatever I study things will work out ok anyway. ED doesn't choose people based on what they're studying! duh?

Anyway, I am delighted Ive gotten through that hurdle! Also remember that job I started that was great, it did wonders for me! It was far from where I lived, so between travelling there and working, It cut out a huge portion of time I previously dedicated to behaviours, so really it did wonders for me at the time. I think I'm gna have to leave though because between college work and recovery work its all a bit much, I have another p/t job im gna keep up tho thats closer to home. I must be mad recovery college and 2 jobs well one has gta go!

Things are going better Im getting along better with my friends and managing recovery better, but I am gna try to keep things balanced, I think thats of great importance in recovery - BALANCE so im just going to try to aim for that - big time! : )

sweet silver lining

Keep believing, we're gonna make it through, X

Another day, Another dolla' !

Rain rain go away come again another day!...sometimes its nice to have a lazy day, with the rain outside and no particular rush to do something!

Yesterday was stressful to say the least, I had a great session with my ED therapist, Im hoping it counted for something...getting into those icky sticky details....

Then the whole college decision didn't really go very well, I worried, I stressed, I made a decision and then spent the whole afternoon crying about it...

Then this morning I checked if I could change it...and low and behold, some miracle sent from above, I still can, I still have another chance...and I'm hoping for a shining light from heaven above to help me make my choice. Although, truthfully I know it somehow will come from inside me.

Today's another day and I'm taking my cousins out to paint the town red!So we'll hopefully have some fun!!!

Tomorrow I start a new job so I'm really excited about that, I'm looking forward to it : )...well now I'm off to find something productive to do with my time!

Ciao...bellas!

Hi

So, Blogging world here I am, ready to roll!

Thanks for reading, i'm in recovery from ED im 21 and I've been struggling since 14, and I've been in recovery for a year and a bit now. The Fam say theyve seen improvements so YAY go me!lets keep up the good work!

Found all the fantastic bloggers out there online one day and I was inspired to start my own...they say write what you know so here I go...

I know I want to recover more than anything in the world...I also know deep down there must be some part of me that doesn't think this is true, because otherwise I'd be free as a bird. There must be some part of me still holding onto that ED. Truth is I know what that part is, as much as I hate to admit it.

In the book wasted by Marya Hornbacher she said " I could fly, or fall. I didn't know how to fly, and I didn't want to fall. So I backed away from the cliff." . Basically I'm afraid...like many Ed sufferers I've screwed up a bit and I'm scared I'll screw up again. These days I'm in the process of choosing what I'll study in College and I'm nervous that I'll mess it up. To remedy this I'm trying to focus on the great things we all have in life and say some affirmations..." I AM CHOOSING THE PERFECT COURSE FOR ME " and " I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE!"

So really I guess for me its fear holding me back a lot of the time, fear I'll choose wrong, fear I don't know how, fear about not knowing what I want. So, the ED is somewhat of a comfort blanket to hold onto...well its time to let that blanket go...